Somewhere around fall of last year, I became aware that I was undergoing a process I’m now calling, unbecoming.
Unbecoming – n. the process of undoing and breaking down what one has become, apart from God’s design
v. to undo and break down defenses and assumptions so that one can become who she was meant to be and see God more clearly
Sometimes I think I sound like a total drama queen. But then the more I talk to people, the more I see that the things I feel are really pretty common among women. So, I share another drama queen moment…
One morning I was in a time of prayer, crying and apologizing to God for being so messed up. There were many areas of my life that weren’t working and there were things I wanted to change, but after years of trying, they still were no different.
As I sat with my eyes closed, a picture came into my mind. I was in a workshop and I saw a pile of what looked like broken shards of pottery on the floor. Then I saw a man quietly bend down and gently sweep it into a dustpan. He wasn’t angry, or even irritated – what I sensed was compassion.
He took the dustpan filled with broken pieces, emptied it out on his workbench and set to work putting it back together.
This was a picture of me and my life.
Though I am broken, I have a God who specializes in fixing broken things. In fact, He kind of likes broken things.
My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise. Psalm 51
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners. Isaiah 61 and Luke 4
He came because of our brokenness, which takes many different forms.
I’m learning not to fear the brokenness and not to despise my own weaknesses. When we release all of our pieces and parts and mess to Him (and that’s the key) He uses them to build something else. He uses it for His purposes and for His glory.
Don’t ever forget that He came for the sick and the broken – not the put together, I got this, don’t need anything people.
Don’t fear the breaking. Don’t fear the unbecoming. Let all that isn’t Him in you, be stripped away. Let yourself be broken and remade.
He’s got a better way.
On that note I love this song from Nichole Nordeman, called The Unmaking. Click the link and take a listen…
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