For the last couple of days I’ve been thinking a lot about my friend, Summer. For those unfamiliar she passed away a few years ago after a year long battle with cancer.

Sometimes grief just shows up out of nowhere. It isn’t as intense as it once was but there are ready many days I just miss her, wish I could see her, talk to her, ask her advice, sit on her back porch, drink a coffee while she drinks a chai – all the things friends do.

I don’t think I have realized how deeply I’ve been affected by her suffering and death. I’m still unearthing things that lodged deep in my heart and mind. 

While my belief in God’s goodness was solidified, the experience also drove me to ask questions I previously had the luxury of not needing to ask. 
It’s easy to give pat answers and cliches when a situation isn’t personal.

I trust God. I really do. And I’m thankful that He is patient and kind, and that He will complete the work He started in me – even when I hit roadblocks or rabbit trails. 

He is faithful when we are faithless. It’s ultimately His faith that saves us and rescues us, anyway. 

As I make my way back from chasing the most recent rabbit, that’s what I keep telling myself. 

He is faithful when I am faithless.